Cry Me a River

December 7, 2005 at 3:38 pm Leave a comment

The coldest day of this semester was definitely today. It was about 30 F when I was outside, but the low is supposed to be in the 20’s. Just got back from class; here’s a quick summary. Woke up at 10:00, wasted some time, headed over to the gym for weight training, took a shower (the first in a few days), walked to BioSci for AIDS and Emerging diseases, took a little detour to the Law Library to pick up a book for my PS 142 research project, then headed back to the dorm. Here’s where the real story of the day begins. The door was locked, and Chris was lying down on the bed, face down, crying. The weirder thing is this isn’t the first time it has happened. He’s cried in the room on at least five other occasions this semester. I always try to ignore it, because I’m not a dick and don’t take pleasure in making the kid feel worse than he appears to be feeling. Yet, it’s repeated occurence has me a bit irked and a bit unsettled, more of the later. His ex-girlfriend broke up with him about three months ago. This is their second breakup in two years. She has made it clear she no longer has any feelings for him and does not want him back. He has listened, he has though, he has concluded to move on. Yet, he still holds onto the faint hope that they can still rejoin. He refuses to accept the finality of the destruction of their relationship. And it is because he loves her, and love is powerful thing. I won’t contest that. Love has started and ended wars. Love creates the most intense of passion and the most putrid of hate. But love does not do one thing. Love cannot make others love us; that is beyond love’s scope. If Kierkegaard and Donald in Adaptation has taught us anything, love is, at its core, personal. Love is ours to keep, ours to cherish, and no one can take it away from us. Why weep and moan over the fact that someone else does not share our love when we have it all for ourselves? It is their loss not ours. That’s why I don’t get Chris’s reaction to his breakup. You still have your love, and that’s better than any third go-around with her could ever be.

“We are what we love, not what loves us.”

-Donald Kaufman from Adaptation


Entry filed under: The Life.

Yesterday…my troubles didn’t exactly go away She’s So Many Words in My Vernacular

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