Posts filed under ‘The Life’

I’m going back, back to…Durham?

Back to school and back to broadband. I’m obviously a lot more happy about the later than the former. I planned out some posts during the break and here is a (tentative) list of posts and their release dates.

  • Thursday (01/12/06) – Movie Primer, King Kong and Syriana Review
  • Friday (01/13/06) – Layer Cake and Roger Dodger Review
  • Saturday (01/14/06) – Memoirs and True Romance Review
  • Sunday (01/15/06) – Swingers Review
  • Monday (01/16/06) – Winter Break Recap
  • Tuesday (01/17/06) – Thoughts on feminism and indoctrination
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January 12, 2006 at 1:03 pm 1 comment

Just Happy To Be Alive

WordPress lost my last post, which is pretty gay. It’s not the first time it’s happened so I’m not too surprised. Anyways, five days of hell ended at 5:00 PM today, otherwise known as finals period. Here are the relevant stats:

  • Finals: 2
  • Final Papers (in pages): 28
  • Most Hours Consecutively Awake: 30
  • Shortest Nap (in minutes): 30
  • Longest Nap (in hours): 13
  • Esimated total sleep (in hours): 20
  • Showers: 1
  • Teeth-brushing: 2
  • Food of choice (eaten most frequently): instant oatmeal
  • Times I played “Genie in a Bottle” to fuck with Gene: 6
  • Times I said “fuck”: Innumerable
  • All-nighter AIM Convo’s between me and Mike Koler: 2
  • Hours wasted talking to Belzer: 4
  • Times I saw the sun rise: 3
  • Times I saw the sun set: 0
  • Lessons learned about not procrastinating until finals: 0

I think that sums up the past week better than any long-winded narrative could. It was crazy. But I’m finished and alive, and, aside from good grades, that’s the best I could hope for.

December 16, 2005 at 4:03 am Leave a comment

Cry Me a River

The coldest day of this semester was definitely today. It was about 30 F when I was outside, but the low is supposed to be in the 20’s. Just got back from class; here’s a quick summary. Woke up at 10:00, wasted some time, headed over to the gym for weight training, took a shower (the first in a few days), walked to BioSci for AIDS and Emerging diseases, took a little detour to the Law Library to pick up a book for my PS 142 research project, then headed back to the dorm. Here’s where the real story of the day begins. The door was locked, and Chris was lying down on the bed, face down, crying. The weirder thing is this isn’t the first time it has happened. He’s cried in the room on at least five other occasions this semester. I always try to ignore it, because I’m not a dick and don’t take pleasure in making the kid feel worse than he appears to be feeling. Yet, it’s repeated occurence has me a bit irked and a bit unsettled, more of the later. His ex-girlfriend broke up with him about three months ago. This is their second breakup in two years. She has made it clear she no longer has any feelings for him and does not want him back. He has listened, he has though, he has concluded to move on. Yet, he still holds onto the faint hope that they can still rejoin. He refuses to accept the finality of the destruction of their relationship. And it is because he loves her, and love is powerful thing. I won’t contest that. Love has started and ended wars. Love creates the most intense of passion and the most putrid of hate. But love does not do one thing. Love cannot make others love us; that is beyond love’s scope. If Kierkegaard and Donald in Adaptation has taught us anything, love is, at its core, personal. Love is ours to keep, ours to cherish, and no one can take it away from us. Why weep and moan over the fact that someone else does not share our love when we have it all for ourselves? It is their loss not ours. That’s why I don’t get Chris’s reaction to his breakup. You still have your love, and that’s better than any third go-around with her could ever be.

“We are what we love, not what loves us.”

-Donald Kaufman from Adaptation

December 7, 2005 at 3:38 pm Leave a comment

Yesterday…my troubles didn’t exactly go away

The day wasn’t very notable at all. I woke up at about 2:15 just in time to make it to my 2:50 class. The weather was absolutely putrid. Windy, cold, dark, and rainy. The kind of Seatlesque weather that makes magnifies peoples problems and drives them to plunge to their deaths. I’m sure somebody in Durham comitted suicide yesterday. It’s a statistical necessity that someone just got fed up living in the slums of North Carolina. Anyways, I wasted a good amount of time after class, putting up a new post, dropping by Matt and Marc’s room, taking a nap. I woke up at 8:15, picked up some Subway, and trekked over to the library to start up the research for my PS 142 paper. My topic is pretty straightforward. I’m doing a case study of the Power Transition between the U.S. and Britain in the interwar period. I’ll probably put a link to the paper on this blog when I’m done. The library trip itself was intoxicatingly boring. After scrambling around the library to find the necessary books and selecting which ones I was going to take back to the dorm, all in the musty air and ominous lighting that is the Perkins Stacks, I was ready to crash for the night. When I got back to the dorm, Chris was bumming around on his computer as usual. I, honestly, haven’t seen him do any work in the last two weeks, which doesn’t bode well for finals. I messed around with the blog settings a little until I got into bed at 2:00. Chris walked back into the room, high and talking to his mom, which is, sadly, not too surprising anymore. He was still in bed when I woke up today, meaning that he missed at least two classes. I don’t know what the kid is thinking or what his priorities are in life, but he’s got to get that shit together. The worst is to come.

December 7, 2005 at 11:14 am Leave a comment

I’d Rather Have 99 Problems

I’m about to go to sleep. It’s almost 7:00 AM. Suprisingly, the day was quite typical for a Sunday. Got up late, slept off the morning stupor, had a productive stretch (finished one of my essays), found a distraction (the basketball game), distraction became longer than I had expected (talked to others about the game, watched Scott play some Perfect Dark Zero), back to work, productive stretch (finished all my written work in my AIDS class) until some ridiculous hour of the morning. The only unexpected was a bitchy Chris, (hence the title.) He pretty much bitched me out about staying up late and doing work to the detriment of his sleep. This pissed me off for a few reasons. One, I was trying very hard not to make too much noise. His noise/light tolerance is just absurd. Two, his inability to sleep was more a product of him smoking up twice that day and taking long naps on both occasions. Three, he effectively sexiled me from the room last night until 5:00 in the morning. If you want to talk about lost sleep, let’s start there. Fourth, our friendship has been tenous as ever since I started out going out less and he started going out more. He gets fucked up on school nights causing him to miss virtually all his classes the next day. He also smokes up three times a week on average now, more than I’ve smoked in any given month. These all basically just highlight the fact that we’re growing apart. At the beginning of the year, we were tight. Now, I’m not so sure. Chris is a good kid at heart, but he’s also one too tempted by desires and whims. The sheer opportunity of getting drunk, getting high, or fucking a bitch is enough to make him drop everything he’s doing. Now, I won’t deny that I am also one to enjoy the “darker” pleasures in life, but the difference is they never control me. I can and have gone whole summers without poker, alcohol, or weed. I don’t need any of them to live a fufilling life. And none of them can compel me to stop either what I want to do or what I have to do. The past few weeks have affirmed that. I’ve had many opportunities to smoke and drink. Some of them have come right to my door, (Ian.) But I have steadfastly done what I wanted to do. I played a lot of MVP Baseball and finished a good amount of work instead. I can only hope Chris can do the same in the near future. Finals week is coming up. The kid said he would study like an animal for this Orgo test, but it doesn’t look like this is going to happen. He’s already behind schedule as a result of his weekend escapades. It sounds really gay, but as a friend, I hope the kid pulls his shit together. He’s definitely one of the smarter kids I’ve known in my life; it’d be a shame to waste it on weed and College humor.

December 5, 2005 at 12:20 pm Leave a comment

No, it won’t float on alright

I came to realization today that the next three weeks are going to horrible. I have a 10 – 15 page research paper I have yet to start thinking about. I have two philosophy papers, one Berkeley and one on Hume. I have two finals, both in classes that I have not glanced at a single page of the required reading and one in which I regularly zone out in class. Procrastination has come back to bite me in the ass, and it’s going to take a lot of work and a lot of sleep deprivation to bite back.

November 28, 2005 at 9:50 pm Leave a comment

Back in Town

So much for posting every day. I just got back in town this morning. The flight wasn’t all too bad. Slept through it despite the adjacent passenger’s constant need to rub elbows with me as if egnaged in some ritual to assert mammalian arm-rest superiority. Irritating to say the least. The baggage claim was suprisingly fast; then again, it was 9:00 AM. Not exactly peak time for airport traffic. So I pickd up my bags, and I hailed a cab. I got back to the campus in a half an hour’s time. The fare was more than I would’ve liked. Thirty-five bucks is a steep cost for a 12 mile drive with virtually no traffic. I suspected some foul play was involved a la selective detours or sub-speed limit cruising, but I was too tired during the ride to gather the necessary evidence. I had just got back to the room and started emptying shit out of my pockets when I realized my phone was missing. Motherfucker. As if losing my phone wasn’t bad enough, absolutely no one I knew in the dorm had come back yet. I spent the next 15 minutes knocking on random doors in the dorm to find someone who would let me use their phone, which would probably land in the top twenty in a list of most awkward things I’ve done in my life. To spare myself from remembering each and every uncomfortable and frustrating moment in those fifteen minutes, I’ll just say that I evenually found someone half awake in posession of a working phone. I called the taxi dispatcher, who after putting me on hold for half an hour, gave me the number of the taxi I had ridden in. The tax driver answered promptly which was the highlight of the last two hours, a testament to exactly how shitty they were. He had my phone, but the return would be less painless than I would’ve liked. He basically gave me two choices. Either he would drop it off at the taxi dispatch at the airport, or he could drop it off on campus for $15. As much as I hated the idea of shelling out more money on a shitty morning, I realized the other choice involved much more money, much more time, and most importantly less time to sleep. So I agreed to pay the money and get my phone “delivered.” “Delivered,” because he only agreed to stop at the West Campus bus stop which required a little bit of a walk from the dorm. And at 30 degrees outside, it was not a pleasant walk. I got my phone back in an hour’s time. As he left, he flashed this devilish smile as if made out like a thief this morning. And I was quite sure he did. I trudged back to the dorm cold, tired, and fifty dollars poorer. To top it off, my parents had called Verizon and cancelled my service even though I have free weekeneds. It took another hour to restore service and listen to their phone lecture about responsibility. I told them I was tired and asked for a reincheck, but they did not take the suggestion too kindly. Near the end of the conversation, I proceeded to make a sardonic comment about recording the lecture on my iPod instead. This only served to prolong the conversation and delay my inevitable self-induced coma. After flipping the phone closed, I passed out on the bed. I’m not even sure what time it was, but I woke up at about 6:00 feeling a little more rested and a little less pissed at life.

Saul Williams – Black Stacey

Sufjan Stevens – Chicago

November 27, 2005 at 3:47 am Leave a comment

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